My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
