Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
