You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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