We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
