I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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