i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
