I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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