The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
