I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
