we're blogging at a bar
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
