how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
