Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
