I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
