apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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