farters have to be the big spoon...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
