i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
