remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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