So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
