Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize