The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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