what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
