Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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