If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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