Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
