I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
