Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
