just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
