Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
