Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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