she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize