So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I believe in your delicious
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize