Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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