Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
