You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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