i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
