why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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