Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
