Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
