On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
