of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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