bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize