Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
