my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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