I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
id be glad to
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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