Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
