I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
