Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
