Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
