margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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