yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
