So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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