Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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