I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
