woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
