If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
