if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize