We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
