I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize