What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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