In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
