I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize