how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
