i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
