i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
